I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
