She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
