it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
