New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
