everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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