I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
