Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
