How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
