around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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