I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
