I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
