How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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