i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
