He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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