wrigley field is MILF paradise
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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