He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
