Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
