Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
