Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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