This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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