hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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