Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
