we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
