She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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