well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
