i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Let's get the cat blown out
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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