im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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