The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
