his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
