Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I want her autograph on my taint
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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