I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
