you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
