Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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