I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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