If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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