i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
