I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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