i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
