I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
