and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
