Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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