i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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