Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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