that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
my liver is dry heaving
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
