I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
