You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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