This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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