i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
