im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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