Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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