Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
