it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
