it wasn't lemon gatorade
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So many bounce houses so little time
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
